Do you still have your period?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize