The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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