i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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