They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
