Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
