Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
