If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
