you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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