somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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