fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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