Those balls look pretty dangerous.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
