Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
