At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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