He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
