i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
