"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
