I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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