My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize