Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There's always time for handjobs
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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