Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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