are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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