I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize