what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
