About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
