I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
