I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
