you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
