I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
