ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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