stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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