there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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