This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
