please come you make the beer taste better
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
