would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Green mimosas i think yes
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
