OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
