You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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