Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
