I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
