i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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