How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
