ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
