Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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