I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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