I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
