see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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