When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize