AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
