Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
