So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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