You smell like stripper and shame
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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