Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
