I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
only if we run a train.
done.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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