Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
its not stalking. its research.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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