Having a random hookup so left but love u
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
