I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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