so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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