My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
