i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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