What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
