u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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