is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
