Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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