Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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