a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
is wine microwaveable?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You are the jesus of drinking
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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