Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize