I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
His nipple licking is glorious
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