he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
