I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
