Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
