There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
