Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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