I didn't shave. On purpose
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
