I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
