As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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