She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
