My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
it's like iHOP with fire
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
