is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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